Groom’s Guide: Wedding Responsibilities
The lead-up to your big day can feel relentless. Wedding preparations, like rings, budgeting, and planning require a lot of dedicated attention and effort. You want it to be perfect — and it can be!
While a groom’s responsibilities can vary from couple to couple or tradition to tradition, there are key elements where grooms can alleviate some stress and help their partners plan for their special day together.
In this guide, we’re covering absolutely everything grooms should know ahead of their wedding, including pre-, during, and post-wedding checklists to ensure you nail every aspect of the wedding planning process — all the way from the proposal to partying.
A Quick Overview of the Groom’s Responsibilities
Before we dive deep into the pre-, during, and post-wedding checklist for grooms, here’s a summary of what we’ll cover:
- 12+ months in advance: Sorting out the wedding rings — especially if you’re doing something custom; booking vendors; creating your guestlist; etc.
- 6-12 months in advance: Start thinking about your wedding suit; choose and notify your groomsmen; start the marriage license process; etc.
- 3-6 months in advance: Rent your suit; book grooming appointments; create a playlist; etc.
- Day-of duties: Help orchestrate the day; greet guests; review your vows; and make sure you have the rings!
- Days following the ceremony: Return rentals.
- 1-4 weeks afterward: Create personalized thank-you cards for guests; select wedding photos; relax with your spouse.
A lot of pre-wedding planning is a joint effort between you and your partner. Well, it certainly should be, anyway! Whatever you do, don’t push everything onto your soon-to-be spouse. It’s both of your special days, after all, and weathering the pre-wedding storm together can be both a fun challenge and a great bonding experience.
When it comes to planning, from the rings to organizing wedding expenses, here’s everything grooms should aim to get in order 6 to 12 months in advance.
Set a Budget
Setting your wedding budget means estimating the costs of all aspects of your wedding, including venue, catering, attire, photography, entertainment, flowers, decorations, and any additional services like transportation and accommodations.
It’s imperative to set this guideline early, as nearly everything you’ll buy or book costs money, and staying in range of what you’re comfortable spending will influence your choices greatly.
Start Shopping for the Rings
Arguably, the most important items of the event for any couple are the wedding rings. Here’s what you should do when it comes to shopping and sizing:
- Start shopping early. If you leave getting the rings to the last minute, you may be setting yourself up for disappointment when they’re not ready in time for your planned date.
- Consider your partner's personal style and preferences. Sure, most happy couples would be content with just about anything to symbolize their union, but choosing a wedding ring should be intentional and meaningful.
Book Your Venue and Accommodations
Wedding venues, especially in popular locations, book up quickly. While it can be location-dependent, we recommend getting your venue in order more than a year in advance to ensure you secure the perfect place for your nuptials.
More than that, it’s important to be mindful of the venue’s vibe, as it can greatly influence what your guests should (and shouldn't) wear. More prestigious venues may even have a dress code in place, which is information you’ll want to know and share with guests ASAP.
If you’re getting married somewhere where most guests will need to travel, make sure you also book accommodation. Some venues may have on-site arrangements or, at the very least, can provide recommendations for hotels nearby.
Pro tip: Many hotels offer wedding specials, where they’ll hold a block of rooms for your wedding guests at a discounted rate. It never hurts to ask!
Choose Your Wedding Theme
Before you go booking any vendors, you need to decide on a theme first.
Your theme and color scheme will affect everything from your wedding attire to your venue and maybe even the food — depending on how serious you get.
Whether you and your partner want a fairytale wedding or a vintage-inspired ceremony, agree early so you can find decor, dress, and suit vendors who offer theme-friendly items!
Order Your Cake and Coordinate Food Vendors
Is a wedding really a wedding without cake? OK — maybe — but if you plan on having a traditional cake on your wedding day, you need to order it early to avoid delays!
Once you’ve scouted out a bakery, make sure you include a few bits of essential information that will influence the size and price of your cake, among other factors:
- Number of guests: Provide an accurate guest count so the baker can recommend the appropriate cake size and number of tiers needed to serve everyone.
- Cake design and theme: Share details about the overall theme and color scheme of your wedding, along with any specific design ideas, such as floral decorations, textures, or cake toppers.
- Flavor preferences: Decide on cake flavors, fillings, and frostings.
- Dietary restrictions: Include any dietary requirements or restrictions, such as gluten-free, vegan, or nut-free options, to accommodate guests with specific needs.
- Budget: Most bakers can work within a realistic budget, so be sure to discuss that when you call!
Once the cake is sorted, start thinking about the food. Do you want a buffet-style meal or something more traditional?
Research wedding food vendors in your area, choose something you know your guests will love, and make the call.
Start Shopping for Personal Wedding Attire
You want to look good for your wedding, don’t you? While your partner is shopping for their perfect wedding look — whether a gorgeous bridal gown or spiffy tux — take that time to get your outfit in order, too. Here are a couple of tips:
- Just like with the rings, start browsing sooner rather than later. The more lead time you allow yourself, the more time you’ll have to make changes if something isn’t quite right.
- Consider renting. If you’re running a tight wedding budget, renting a suit or tux is a cost-effective way to look and feel your absolute best on your big day.
Pre-Wedding Guest Duties
Organizing your guest list should be a collaborative activity. Sit down with your partner to create a balanced list of invitees from both sides of the family. Afterward, help make sure everything is in order:
- Double-check addresses on each wedding invitation to ensure mail couriers drop them at the correct locations.
- Create save-the-date notices to let guests know that an official invite is on the way.
- Get invitations in the mail with plenty of time to account for delivery, planning, and RSVP.
In general, a good rule of thumb for sending out save-the-dates and invites is about six to eight weeks ahead of the wedding, which gives invitees plenty of time to decide and get back to you with an official answer.
Choose Groomsmen
Choosing your groomsmen can be tricky — especially if you have a lot of friends and family. Luckily, modern weddings are leaning more in a lax direction. Unless you’re religious or have a particular marriage tradition, there are no hard and fast rules about how many people you can choose. It’s totally up to you! Once you’ve made your selections, follow up by:
- Clearly communicate roles and responsibilities with your chosen groomsmen.
- Arrange their wedding attire as a token of your appreciation. Your wedding party will help with some of the heavy lifting during the planning process, and organizing groomsmen’s suiting can help take a load off. Plus, it allows you to nail down your desired aesthetic with full control over colors and styles.
Start the Marriage License Process
While requirements differ by state, you’ll need to obtain a marriage license before your wedding to give to the officiant.
- Research the legal requirements and deadlines for obtaining a marriage license in your area. You’ll typically find all the information you need on your municipality’s official website.
- Schedule your appointments with city staff to begin the process.
Coordinate and Book Vendors
Getting wedding vendors booked is one thing, but as your special day approaches, it’s not a bad idea to confirm bookings and ensure there are no upsets on the day of.
- Call and confirm all bookings with caterers, florists, photographers, etc., and verify that your payment information is accurate to avoid any unnecessary delays.
- Gather and organize vendor’s contact information for easy access.
Book Personal Health and Grooming
You and your partner will be the center of attention on your big day — so you should want to look good! If you don’t have a regular skincare or hair routine in your daily life, consider implementing one ahead of the wedding to get into a groove. Beyond that, consider the following:
- Schedule any haircuts,
- Skincare treatments, and
- Other personal care appointments well in advance.
In the months and even days leading up to the wedding, you’ll want to start focusing on some of the finer details that don’t necessarily require months of preparation and planning, such as selecting your music and sending out reminders about the rehearsal dinner.
Curate Your Playlist
Most couples probably curate their wedding music over a long period, but if you’ve yet to put anything together, sit down with your fiance and select some wedding tunes! Pay extra attention to first-dance songs.
If you’re up for the challenge, you can even curate your entire wedding playlist. Using a popular music streaming app, create a new playlist and simply start saving songs you’d love to hear on the dance floor.
Doing this yourself can also help save money on a DJ.
Host Your Rehearsal
Having your rehearsal a day or two before the wedding itself is pretty standard practice.
It helps everyone involved prepare without too long of a wait in between, which helps folks who plan to get up and say a few words have their speeches fresh in their memory.
As the wedding couple, it helps work out any last-minute kinks you may not have noticed earlier to ensure a picture-perfect wedding day.
With all of the pre-wedding planning squared away, the time has finally come. You’re about to marry the love of your life. No sweat, right?
Your wedding day is filled with all kinds of emotions, and it’s normal to be nervous. Without letting your nerves get the better of you, these tips will help keep you cool-headed.
Getting Ready
You may have noticed a theme throughout this guide: start early. It’s no different on the day of:
- Start getting ready early to avoid any last-minute rush. It’s much, much better to be slightly early than a little late on your big day.
- Have a backup plan for outfit emergencies, like an extra pair of cufflinks if you misplace the original set.
Coordinating Groomsmen
While you’ll certainly be the center of attention, your groomsmen may feel nervous, too — especially if they’ve never been included in a wedding party before. On the day of, help them get organized.
- Ensure all groomsmen are present, dressed appropriately, and know what’s expected of them in terms of wedding etiquette.
- Confirm that everyone knows their roles and the schedule for the day.
Remembering Vows and Rings
These big-ticket items are perhaps the most important part of the whole day, so you should know where they are at all times.
- Double-check that you actually have the vows and rings with you and didn’t leave them behind.
- Designate a responsible person, like your best person, to hold onto the rings until the wedding ceremony — especially if you’ll be busy helping with other responsibilities and risk misplacing them.
Greeting Guests
Balancing the innate responsibilities of a wedding day, like greeting guests and spending time with your partner — even ahead of the ceremony — can be tricky.
- Make an effort to greet guests when they arrive. Thank them for coming and share a brief conversation if you’re able.
Being Prepared for Emergencies
Hope for the best, but be ready for the unforeseen. Outfit emergencies can happen, and it’s best to be prepared. Put together an emergency kit with essential tools to make quick fixes, such as:
- A pocket-sized sewing kit.
- A stain remover stick.
- Tissues.
- Mints.
For convenience, keep it in an easily accessible place, like the inside pocket of your jacket (if everything fits) or behind the bar.
Congratulations! You’re married.
Before you go planning that ever-important honeymoon, there are a few more “I’s” to dot and “T’s” to cross. You’re almost there!
1-3 Days After Ceremony: Return Rentals
Weddings typically entail a lot of rentals, from your suit to the decor. To avoid late fees, make sure that everything is returned on time. If you’re heading off on a honeymoon right away, designate a willing family member or friend to handle this for you.
Be mindful of vendor return policies — especially suit rentals — as many predatory services will require you to return your suit ASAP, banking on the fact that you’ll be too exhausted or preoccupied to make the return and incur late fees.
Psst! With Generation Tux, you have three full business days after your wedding to get your rental in the mail and on its way back to us — shipping fully paid!
Write Personalized Thank You’s
Everyone that helped make your wedding a reality deserves some praise. Consider writing thank you notes for key guests and wedding vendors that express your gratitude:
- Make them personalized to add a sense of true appreciation — especially for those you couldn’t have done it without. For your groomsmen, consider a small gift as a token of appreciation.
- Have your spouse help you write so it’s more manageable.
Take Care of Legal and Financial Tasks
The legal side of marriage can be a heavy lift, but you’re a few signatures away from a sweet, sweet wedded life. Handle any name changes, update your marital status on legal documents, and merge finances according to your preferences. This may include updating information for:
- IDs.
- Bank accounts.
- Insurance policies and benefits.
- And more.
Relax and Reconnect With Your Spouse
Take some time to relax and reconnect with your spouse after the whirlwind of wedding planning and the big day. Enjoy each other’s company and start setting routines in your married life.
Select Wedding Photos
If you hire a professional photographer to document your wedding reception, chances are there will be hundreds of photos to choose from. And, depending on the package or service you purchased, you’ll need to sit down and pick the best ones to keep — because you won’t get all of them!
Work directly with your photographer and videographer to choose your favorite captured moments. Of course, you should do this with your partner to ensure you both select ones that you’re happy with. Plus, it’s a fun activity that lets you relive the magical moments from a new perspective.
The Keys to It All: Essential Skills for Wedding Day Success
This guide is ripe with tips and tricks for each stage of the process, from pre-planning to the wedding ceremony itself to post-nuptial follow-up. No matter what stage you’re currently in, there are a handful of helpful suggestions that you can apply to all phases that will keep you pushing forward:
- Stay organized: Use a wedding planning checklist or app to keep track of tasks and deadlines. Stay on top of updating it to keep it current, and set reminders for time-sensitive tasks.
- Communicate: Maintain open communication with your partner, wedding planner, and vendors and ensure everyone stays on the same page throughout to avoid misunderstandings.
- Delegate: Don’t try to handle everything yourself. Yes, this is a Groom’s Guide, however, you’ve got good, capable company in your best man, groomsmen, and family members. Delegate specific responsibilities to help yourself manage the immense pressure that often comes with your wedding day.
- Stay calm: Wedding planning can be stressful, but it’s important to stay calm and focused and to have fun, of course! Take breaks when you need to and don’t hesitate to seek support from your partner or loved ones when the pressure feels too much to bear.
- Manage your time: Stick to your schedule as closely as possible, but be open to flexibility. To help with this, bake buffer time into each step of the planning process to account for any unexpected delays that may crop up along the way.
- Prioritize your relationship: Amidst all these tasks and triumphs, remember to focus on your relationship! When everything is said and done, schedule some quality time together to start your married life on a positive note — whether that be a honeymoon or just a nice, relaxing weekend together after months of panicked planning.
The Best Choice for Wedding Suit Rentals That Helps Streamline Planning
Generation Tux is a first-rate suit and tuxedo rental platform that puts control back in the hands of grooms and wedding couples.
Our fully online platform enables grooms to browse an endless selection of high-quality, stylish suits and tuxedos, get fitted without ever stepping foot inside a traditional tux shop, and coordinate groomsmen’s outfits with the click of a button.
As this guide illustrates, Groom Duty entails tasks and responsibilities. We strive to remove as much of the burden and stress of your wedding plan as possible so you can enjoy your special day to the fullest.
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